Every Woman Should Read This

These words are amazing. I live by these. Every woman should, don't waste your time, don't feel heartache for a man whose not going to show you he loves you. He may say he does, but if he's not going to show you, his words mean nothing.
I know I'm never going to waste my time on a man who doesn't show me he loves me.

He can have an amazing personality. You can watch
him across a room and laugh at everything he says. He
can charm a stone.  He can charm you.  He can make you
feel like he is the only person alive who understands
you at that moment. He can fill the air with wit and
with charisma and with enthusiasm.
     But if he fills you with nothing, he ain't worth
it.  It doesn't matter how hilarious he is. How smart
he is, how creative he is, how dynamic, how thrilling,
how sweet, how original.  It matters how he treats
you.  And there it is.
     The difficult part of finding someone you want to
be with isn't finding someone whose personality
entertains you. It isn't that he can crack you up or turn
you on. Of course, it is those things, but it's so much
more.  If he's interested in you some of the time but
not all of the time he's not the one.  If he makes
you giggle but makes you cry he's not the one.  If he
makes you think but makes you think ill of yourself
he's not the one.  He's got to want you as much as you
want him. You can't just convince yourself that deep
down he does just because you want him to want you as
much as you want him.  It doesn't matter what he feels
deep down if he doesn't show it.
     This isn't a movie. This is real life.  Movies
have brainwashed you. Sure they have. Pure and simple.
In every tale of the beast who is tamed by the beauty.
Whether the beast in him be insecurity or alcohol or
drugs or other women. Or heartlessness or brainlessness
or cowardice.  Listen up. You're not his Beauty,
you're not his Dorothy, you're not his therapist, and
you're most assuredly not his wizard.  He is who he is. And
because you are who you are give up. It doesn't make
you weak. It doesn't mean you weren't good enough. It
means you have a lick of sense about you. There will
be no "Happily Ever After" at the end of your
dysfunctional version of the yellow brick road.
     You love tales in which the beast changes for the
love of the woman because it makes you feel like you
hold some kind of magical power over him. To transform
him into who he really wants to be. To reveal the
prince within the monster.  But guess what? You don't hold
that power. Newsflash:  No one does. He is the only
one who holds the power to change himself. And if he
hasn't changed for himself, he sure as hell isn't going
to do it for you.  This isn't Beauty and the Beast. It
isn't any version of the story of the asshole who
turns his life around because some dame sees the good in
him.
     The truest stories are those of the man who does
change for a little while, or at least seems to, but
goes back to his old ways and leaves the hopeful woman
disappointed. This doesn't make him evil. It makes him
human. The human who isn't right for you.  It's not
your fault. It doesn't mean you weren't intelligent
enough, or funny enough, or beautiful enough, or unique
enough, or understanding enough, or patient enough. You
weren't the muse to inspire him, because that muse
does not exist. It doesn't mean that you can't still be
his friend.
     Chances are that eventually he will meet someone
and settle down and seem to become all of the things
that you hoped he could be for you.   But don't let
this hurt you. Don't be fooled. You were good enough for
him. He just wasn't good enough for you.
     If you continue hoping that sooner or later he
will come around, realize how wonderful you are, and how
you deserve better and that he's not living up to his
full potential as a person, you are breaking your own
heart. He isn't. You are. You know deep down who he
is. YOU KNOW. Beneath the goodness hiding beneath his
fear is an even deeper fear that will prevent him from
ever in one million years being what you think he can
be. You know it. Stop bullshitting yourself. No amount
of either bullying or coddling from you is going to
bring him around. You know this deep down, oh yes you do
but you stay.  Because keeping yourself tied to a
man who will never change keeps you from getting
involved with a man who might change you.
     Admitting that stops making it about his fear,
though, and makes it about yours.  Listen to me.
Somewhere out there waits a man who will be strong enough for
your strength. Wise enough for your wisdom.  A wise
woman waits for that man. She doesn't waste herself on a
madman because she will feel like more of a woman if
she is the one who can finally cure him of
his demons.  Being a woman is knowing you haven't sold
yourself short. That you haven't allowed his failures
to become your own.  Being a woman is being brave. 
Not brave enough to stay and try to change him.
     Brave enough to walk away!!!